Ask and Ye Shall Receive: 4 simple tips to asking her out

From time t0 time, I have been fortunate to be asked to guest blog on others’ blogs. This has to be one of the highest honors as a blogger. This was posted on Live The Charmed Life ( in December 2009. Thanks, DeeAnne!

I’m very happy to share a wonderful guest post by Mike Bloomberg, The Romance CEO. In asking Mike to contribute an article for Live The Charmed Life, I asked that he write something from the man’s perspective on relationships. After sharing many great ideas, and agreeing that we should collaborate again in the future, we decided on a reprint of one of his most popular articles. What follows is something that everyone can benefit from. If you’re a man, here are some helpful tips on getting up the courage to ask the girl of your dreams out for the first time. If you’re a woman, I think you will gain a whole new respect for what men go through in often being expected to make the first move. Either way, it only reinforces how truly alike we are. Many thanks to Mike, and ENJOY!

Ask and Ye Shall Receive: 4 simple tips to asking her out

You are standing in line at the pharmacy. You turn around just to kill time as the person in front of you is counting out the six-month prescription they just picked up to make sure all the pills are there, and there she is. Blue eyes, dimples, nice smile and what do you do…turn around and face the front. Your mind starts racing. Should I turn back around? Should I just introduce myself? What should I say?

Another scenario might be this. You see her at the gym at the same time every day. She is always on the treadmill when you are on the bike. It started off as a smile, evolved into small talk and, now, there is some flirting going on. Even when you are not at the gym, she is on your mind. Your friends have heard all about her. Your barber has even heard about her. But, still, no action on your part to ask her out.

Guys, we have all been there. Each of us have a different reaction to just the thought of having to do it. For some, it is like breathing. For the rest of us, we would rather have our bodies waxed by Aunt Gertie than to have to do this. I am talking about asking someone out for the first time. Here are a few tips to make this decision a little easier:

Confidence, confidence, confidence! If you are not self-assured and seem as if your skin was custom fit for you, then do not even bother talking to her, much less, asking her out. There is nothing less attractive to a woman than a man who is not confident. I am not talking about being “cocky” when you approach her. She will not be impressed with that. Here’s a little tip…visualization. Don’t worry, you do not have to go to yoga class and meditate for 6 hours. Picture yourself as 100 feet tall when you talk to her. Even now, just close your eyes and picture it. There is something about being above everyone else that invokes confidence. When talking to her, even if you are scared to death, act as is if you were born to do this. Fake it ‘til you make it!

Every breath you take. Do not forget to breathe. Like a well-conditioned athlete, when asking someone out, it is always important to take a deep breath and to continue to breathe throughout the conversation. You do not want to seem nervous or start sweating when talking to her.

What do you have to lose? In the last few years, I have started socializing with a new group of friends. We go to dinner, go bowling, and do happy hours. One of the guys is gay. While at a Super Bowl party, he decided it was time to tell me he had a crush on me…in front of about 10 people. Needless to say, I was speechless. However, I was not offended. In an odd way, I was jealous. So many times, I have wanted to tell this girl or that girl that I really liked them. If a gay guy could tell a straight guy in front of a lot of people, then why couldn’t I just ask someone out when it was just the two of us? I have been around this guy a few more times and we are still friends. Moral of the story…just go for it. At the least, the outcome is going to be the exact same as it is now, except that you went for it.

She may be sitting home like you. There is an adorable girl who works at my gym. O.K, she is hot. She often complained about the horrors of dating in college. Guys rarely ask girls out. Often, dates consist of meeting up with each other at the bar. Recently, she talked about this new guy she has been seeing. She said it was someone she had met socially through mutual friends. While he was funny, she was not initially physically attracted to him. I asked why she chose to go out with him and her response was this, “He asked.” Those two words put everything into perspective. HE ASKED…plain and simple.

A wise man once said that 98% of what we worry about never happens. Never have truer words been uttered. We often think of what the outcome could be and rarely are we correct. How many times have you said, “that went way better than I thought it was going to?” Apply that to your dating life. Even if she is not interested, not available or the timing is just not good, if your approach is that of a gentleman, most women feel honored to be pursued. Wayne Gretzky, hockey great, said it best, “you will miss 100% of the shots you never take.” Go ahead…shoot! You might even score.

Michael Bloomberg, a marriage proposal, dating and romance consultant, is better known as “The Romance CEO” ( and author of the Romance Rocks!monthly newsletter. Bloomberg has been seen on The Learning Channel, might have been photographed with a Supermodel and definitely writes a weekly column, Date Night, for the Fort Worth Business Press. @TheRomanceCEO is where you can follow him on Twitter.

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